Steam Room Etiquette: How A Man Should Behave

The positive effects of a steam room – the rejuvenating effect on skin, muscles and joints while relieving stress – are well documented. However, a few people always manage to detract from an otherwise therapeutic experience.

We don’t want you to be ‘that guy’, so we’ve created 10 steam room etiquette guidelines every man should follow.

Don’t Come In Naked

We are not in Ancient Rome; steam rooms are now mainly unisex. Even if you are in a single-sex steam room, please don’t come in naked. There really is no need.

If you don’t want to wear trunks, then don’t. However, please have the decency to put a towel around your waist to protect your ‘modesty’. Furthermore, if you are only wearing a towel, don’t put your leg(s) up – needless to say, no one needs to see that.

Shower Before You Come In

There’s nothing worse than someone stepping into the steam room straight from a two-hour cardio workout, still dripping with sweat.

Suddenly, people become rather weary about the source of steam in the room, not to mention the ‘scent’. Have a shower, please. It takes 30 seconds.

Use The Space

If the steam room is almost empty, don’t sit directly beside the only person there; it’s awkward.

Much like Thomas Fink’s (of The Man’s Book) method of selecting the optimal urinal, leave at least one space between you and the other person where possible. Trust us, it’ll make a more enjoyable steam room experience for everyone.

Keep It Closed

Unlike the normal rules of gentlemanly behaviour, do not hold the door open for the person behind you. They managed to get this far, we’re sure they’ll be OK opening it for themselves.

It’s frustrating waiting up to 30 minutes for the ‘optimal steaming temperature’ only to have someone come along and hold the door open for their partner who’s showering.

In Or Out

If you’re unsure you want to come in, think about it outside, not with the door open (see previous point).

If you are looking for someone, come inside rather than trying to see through the impenetrable steam, or waiting for all the steam to filter out to ease your line of vision.

Shaving

Now, this is unbelievable; some actually think it’s fine to bring a razor into the steam room and have a shave. Where do these people think the hair goes?

It doesn’t matter how much hair you have, the hair still has to go somewhere. There’s no ‘hair length’ related rule for this one – it cannot happen. Ever.

Adults Only

If the sign says, ‘No kids under the age of 16,’ it means that. We should add that the age restriction also applies to mental age.

Watch Your Mouth

While it’s polite to say “Hello” when entering and “Cheers” when leaving, conversation in the steam room should be kept to a minimum and not forced upon any unwilling recipient. If their eyes are closed, it’s probably a good sign they want to be left alone.

Gentleman, it is not a pub. Do not use it as a venue to discuss your lurid stories from the night before, how well your job is going, or divulge the inner workings of your ‘relationships’ – there’s a reason psychologists get paid.

Comments such as “It’s hot in here” are not required – we know it’s hot; that’s why we’re here.

Don’t Stare

It’s still rude, even if (you think) they can’t see you. No one wants to be gawped at, in or out of a steam room.

Hold It In

Finally, if you must break wind, please, please, please do it outside. Unfortunately, the steam doesn’t numb the sense of smell.